How Should Christians View Dating?

When I first gave my life to Jesus, I had ungodly views about dating that I picked up before becoming saved.

After I was saved, The Lord began to teach me more about His will regarding dating and finding a spouse. It was much different than what I was used to.

In the world, I’d be attracted to someone and if the feeling was mutual the other person and I would spend time together just for fun and get to know one another.

It wasn’t very important to us where the relationship would lead to in the end, because we would be satisfied with the temporary thrill that came from dating or being in a relationship.

The other bad mentality I picked up in the world was trying to initiate relationships with men I was interested in, because God intended for a woman to be pursued by a man, not the other way around!

What I learned is that God’s purpose for dating is to get to know someone that you think could be a potential husband or wife. This is called courtship.

When a Christian goes into courtship they have an intention to get married, where as in the world people date for pleasure and entertainment. It is a man who should always initiate courtship because as mentioned earlier, it is God’s design for a woman to be pursued by a man.

In courtship, couples discuss serious topics up front such as marriage, children, their values and etc.

This is important because during this time both parties are seeing if the other person is a good fit as a husband or wife.

As the couple is gets to know one another, each person is also praying and/or fasting to find out what God thinks about the relationship, and if this is the spouse God wants them to be with.

I like how God designed courtship because there are no guessing games.

What I mean by that is, in worldly dating a woman can be left guessing if the man will commit to her in the end. In courtship, there is a mutual desire for marriage.

One of the things which causes insecurities, heartbreak, and other problems is when a person gives all of themselves in a relationship where the other person is not on the same page as them. That is not God’s will, and that is why he desires for us to date with purpose and intention.

God’s ways are meant to bring us peace when we walk in them. Many times Christians end up hurt because they choose to do things their own way instead of God’s way.

Another factor in courtship is that there are boundaries. Christians in courtship should be following the teachings of the Bible whereas people in the world make up their own rules and standards as they see fit.

One obvious standard in courtship is maintaining sexual purity, because the Bible teaches that God designed sex to be for marriage only.

Sadly, it is very normal among worldly people today to have multiple sexual partners and many treat sex casually. This leads to the transmission of STD’s, unwanted pregnancy, soul-ties, and other emotional problems. All of this could be avoided if people lived by the instructions God gave us.

During Courtship, it’s important to avoid situations which could lead to sexual temptation.

For this reason, some Christian couples choose to hang out in groups, set curfews, and avoid touching, or etc. depending on how The Holy Spirit is leading them.

During courtship with my husband, God led us to avoid touching completely, including hugging or holding hands. While to some people it seemed extreme, this helped us to avoid temptation.

I do not mean to say that it is a sin to hug or hold hands, but every person is different in terms of what leads them to be tempted. Couples need to be led by The Holy Spirit regarding what is best for their own relationship.

If you have the desire to get married and it is God’s will for your life, I encourage you to date with purpose and to keep Jesus at the center of your courtship!

This will bring the most peace into your relationship and you will have a relationship that truly honors and glorifies Christ. You will also avoid much of the baggage, strife, and heartache that many people go through because of doing things out of God’s will.

How God Chose My Spouse (Husband & Wife Testimony)

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